"We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak"
- Epictetus [philosopher & teacher] (A.D 55 - 138) -
Most of us misconcept that listening is basically the same as hearing. In fact, listening is a SKILL and has to be learned and trained. Madelyn divides this skill into 3 levels, let's see which level you are at:
+ Level 1: People at level 1 look for an area of interest in the talker's message; they view it as an opportunity to gather new and useful information. They can see things from the other person's point of view and inquire about rather than advocate a position. They use extra thought time to anticipate the talker's next message, to mentally summarize the stated message, evaluate what was said, and to conciously notice nonverbal cues.
+ Level 2: A person at this level is mainly listening to words and the content of what is being said but does not fully understand what the words mean. He focuses on words, but many times, he misses the intent. To sum up, he HEARS what the speaker says but makes little effort to understand the speaker's intent.
+ Level 3: At this level, people stop listening to the speaker, daydream, pretend to liten while thinking about unrelated matters. This influences either the speaker or the listener reponds by walking away angrily or argue.
* The benefits of Level 1 listening is you set in motion a positive, mutually rewarding process by demonstrating interest in the speaker and what he or she is saying. This encourages honesty, mutual respect, understanding, and a feeling of security in the speaker. It also encourages the speaker to feel self-confident, builds his self-esteem and a feeling of being empowered.
* Guideline for effective listening:
- Be attentive
- Be interested in the speaker's needs
- Listen fro a caring attitude
- Act like a mirror
- Don't get personally involved in a problem
- Use verbal cues
[I must admit that I'm really bad at listening to others. Hah hah, maybe I'm not at Level 3 but Level 4 >:) . But after reading this, I'm trying to change it. Hope you think so]
(All the facts and information of this entry come from the book Select Readings)
[Violence]
4 comments:
if you are at level 4 then which level am i at ? =.='
Am I a good listener?^^. Don't say "no".
I sometimes feel very tired to listen to someone. Because they talk some boring topics. should i not listen to them?
Hi there. This's my first time visiting your blog. I didn't expect so many pictures of our class to see here. So, thanks. It's relaxing. Now, about the entry, I can tell it's useful. But what I want to share is that even when I have the key, I still can't open the door. I don't know why. I need your help here. So, will you? I know that to be a good speaker, I should be a good listener first. And to be a good listener, I should do this, do that, follow this, follow that,... I know. But I just can't. Sometimes, I try to listen but can't find out what is saying. Sometimes, after understanding my partner in the conversation, I don't show my interest. Of course, it's not because I don't have interest in what he said but I don't know how to do that. And it's somehow my habit that I only keep silent and listen, listen and listen. That's the way I am, usually. You see the problems here?
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